Progress

It is funny how I keep comparing myself to these little birds yet it has really fascinated me.  We are slowly drawing closer to the end...or should I say the beginning.  Just as these little birdies are developing and getting ready to leave the nest, hopefully sooner, rather than later, our little babe will make his entrance into the world. 

I keep thinking one of these days I am going to get that 'burst of energy', and be able to accomplish alot...but instead I am just tired!   It is amazing how much age, and 3 other kiddos play a part in that.  I have a list of things I want to do before he arrives, and hopefully I will get them done.  May is a daunting month...alot of things going on...and now I get to have a baby in the middle of all the chaos! 

Here is a 'progress report' of my growth.  I feel like a whale, and we still have a few weeks left!  Although, from the pics it looks like the baby may have 'dropped' a little in the past week...either that or it is just the angle of the shot.  I will just pretend that he has dropped :o)  because that means he might come sooner. Sydney was 9 days early...and that was heaven!  Till then I will be counting the days!

Spelling it out...

Back in October, Caden came home with a letter.  Every week he gets a new list of spelling words.  Each week we practice them, and usually take a 'mock' test.  This particular week I was not able to be there to do the mock test.  Shawn did it with him, and he wrote the words in this green notebook. 

Somehow this notebook ended up going with him to school...and this was the result.

I was extremely saddened, and somewhat embarrassed, but we had a talk.  We talked about how cheating is dishonest, and not something we should do.  I thought he understood.  That was until today...when he came home with this...

Needless to say I was/am dissapointed.  Not only did he get a zero for thoday...I have no idea how long he has been doing this.  I am so sad that he has felt like it was okay to do this and for so long.  The crazy thing is that he KNOWS these words!  In fact, for the test today we had practiced them, and he recited me the spelling of them.  For whatever reason, when it came to actually taking the real test he panics, and feels like he can't get them right and this was the only answer. 

Then comes the "Mom Guilt"...this year I have had loads of it.  I feel like between getting pregnant, and Caden getting sick in December...I have been living in a blur.  Just trying to survive the day.  I hate feeling that way.  Not having the energy or motivation to really do what I 'think' I should be doing for my kids.  This note has got me baffled...

Where in the world did I go wrong?   I am trying to figure out how to really handle this.  Not only did he get caught today, but it was clear that he had been doing this for months!  Each week I would congratulate him for his spelling test...yet he was CHEATING, and then lying to us.  I just don't get it.  How do I help him understand that it is okay to miss some?  That he doesn't have to get everything right.  He was so afraid to get them wrong he felt this was the only solution!  The part that gets me is that he knows that it was wrong, but in the same breath...doesn't seem to feel really bad about it. 

I know he is only in the 1st grade, and maybe it was somewhat innocent because ultimately he just wants to be good.  That is the problem...he wants so badly to be good that he makes bad choices thinking they are okay.  He is so afraid of making mistakes, and getting things wrong.  What can I do to help him?  Part of me wants to just yell at him because I can't believe that it has been going on for so long...but I know in the end anger will do nothing.  I just want him to understand that I love him...that he doesn't have to be perfect.  I want him to have confidence in himself to know that he really is a smart kid!  He doesn't need a 'cheat sheet'!  

Have you ever had a cheater?? How did you handle it? 

New Life

About a week ago, Shawn and I were sitting outside watching our kids jump on the trampoline.  The weather has been great (minus some 90-100 degree temps last week), and the kids have been spending much of their afternoons, and evenings in the backyard.  

I love spending time with my kids, but I almost love observing their interactions with each other even more.  I think I could spend hours in silence watching them jump, play, and laugh together.  It really is music to my ears. There are times when it isn't all joy and laughter, but when it is...my heart is full.  

As we sat there, we noticed a hummingbird above our heads.  She had started to build a nest on a windchime that was left by the previous owners.  It was/is super tiny, so I thought there was no possiblity there could be eggs inside.  A few days later I hopped up on a stool and took a picture. 

Inside there was two perfectly tiny hummingbird eggs (about the size of a jellybean)!  The kids and myself included are so excited to watch the development of these little creatures. 

I have watched this mother hummingbird come and go through out the day, but spending the majority of her time sitting in her nest.  Doing everything she can to keep these precious eggs warm.  It makes me wonder if they have the same deep love for their eggs as we do for our own children.  I would like to think that they do.

I am now 34 weeks pregnant.  Creating life is a wonder to me.  As I sit here feeling the movements of the little boy inside of me, I can't help but feel grateful.  It is amazing to realize that my Heavenly Father created a body for me that knows exactly what to do to cultivate, and nourish life.  I didn't have to learn to build a nest for my baby.  I didn't need to know what to do to keep him safe and warm.  My body automatically knows.  As each day goes by, that life inside of me is growing (and boy do I feel it!), and preparing himself to enter this world.  I am thankful for the opportunity once more to be a part of that.

34 weeks...I already feel HUGE!

I love my children, and the joy they bring to my life.  I can't wait until this new little life is here.