He's Cute!

The past 2 weeks have been a blur.  I guess that is what happens when you adjust to having lots of interrupted sleep.  Overall, we are doing well.  Grayson has been a good baby so far, and that I am thankful for.  I am hoping he continues to be that way. 

I always wondered how it would be to add another little munchkin to the family.  Some say that the 3rd child threw them for a loop. While I had also heard that the 4th is the one who 'rocks your world.'  I think for me...the latter is the case.  I have found myself losing my patience much quicker, and being really snippy with my kids.   Alot of it has to do with how infatuated these kids are with the new little 'doll' we have in our house. 

Since coming home from the hospital I think I have heard "HE'S CUTE!"  a bazillion times each day.  They want to hug him, kiss him, touch him, ALL THE TIME!!  They are still working on learning about personal space.  Right now they think it is okay to be within an inch of someones face.  All this usually is happening while I am trying to nurse the 'little cutie', or when he is trying to sleep.  Which I think compounds why my patience runs thin (I bet my lack of sleep doesn't help much either). 

Although it seems I am complaining...I am so thankful that I have 3 children that love the 4th so much.  I am sure in a few weeks the novelty of the newness will wear off, and life will start to gain some normalcy.  Until then I will soak in the 'cuteness' of this handsome little boy.

And Then There Was Four...

The days leading up to my scheduled induction were spent in a flurry of activity.   They were spent doing all the last minute things to try to prepare, and be ready to welcome a new little addition to our family.  Since this was all close to Mother's day, I spent alot of time thinking about my role as a mother. 

As as child, I was the girl who loved kids. Any chance I got, I was doting over a baby or entertaining a child. I loved babysitting, and just making kids smile.  I always knew that one day I would want to have children.  I am just thankful that I have been blessed with this opportunity.

I FINALLY got these pictures framed, and hung them up in my dining room. It is now the first thing I see when I come down the stairs each morning.  Although they are 2 years old, and now need an additional picture...they are some of my favorite images of my kids.  Seeing them everyday the past 2 weeks leading up to the birth of my 4th child has really helped me appreciate the blessing I have of being their mother. 

I have been trusted by my Heavenly Father to love, care for, and guide these children to hopefully someday return to their Father in heaven.  Such a lofty task, but thankful for the burden.  I may not be perfect in all I do, but I am trying.  I am trying to be the mother that He would want me to be.  I just hope that I can help my kids reach their full potential, and have some fun along the way.

Thursday night came, and the 3 little tikes went across the street to Auntie Nancy's (have I mentioned how much I LOVE living next to my sister!).  Our induction was scheduled for 3am so we didn't want to have to wake anyone when we left.  Everything went just as planned and was uneventful.  It was slow going, but totally normal for someone who wasn't really in labor when I arrived.  I got my epidural early on, so the day was spent taking naps, hanging out talking, and just waiting for the little guy to arrive.  When he was finally ready, the doctor was called.  The doctor came about 15 minutes later and was there for all of 5 minutes when our little babe made his debut into the world surrounded by his Daddy, Auntie Nancy, Auntie Cathy, and his Grandma Duke.  I swear if all of my deliveries were this easy I would have a million kids. 

Introducing

Grayson Charles

May 13th, 2011

4:20pm

7lbs 14oz

19 3/4 inches

Birth is such an amazing thing.  I still can't get over the emotion that swirls as you watch your child come into the world.  In a blink of an eye, I went from a mother of 3 to a mother of 4.  I lay there with tears in my eyes as the most beautiful thing was put into my arms.  I spent the next few days at the hospital taking in this pure gift from heaven.  I love the little moments that I get to have one on one with my babies while I am there.  For just those 2 days he is all that matters.  I get a little pampering from the nurses, but I also get to bond with my baby.  On Sunday, my honey came and picked me up...and now I get to share him with the rest of the family.

He may have been born on Friday the 13th...and some may say that is UN-LUCKY....but to me I was/am the LUCKIEST person on earth!

Planning

My own mother had 8 children.  EIGHT!  Back then there was no ultrasounds to find out the gender, she had them all 'natural', and they came when they came.  I know there are still ones out there that choose to go that same route.  I even have friends that have home births.  I think that is awesome for them...just not for me.

I like my doctor.  I like hearing my babies heartbeat each visit.  I am thankful this time around to know that we are bringing a boy into our family.  I am thankful that I will be able to have this baby in a hospital surrounded with people that know how to care for my baby, and make sure things go smoothly.  I also like the fact that I have a doctor that is willing to work with me and my 'planning.'

We planned for this baby, but I never realized how incredibly hard this would be to have a baby in MAY!  May is chock full of field trips, piano recitals, dance recitals, EVMCO concert, graduations, and end of the year festivities. 

As the time has drawn closer, I continued to look at my calendar and hypervenhilate.  My due date was/is Friday, May 20th.  On Thursday, May 19th -  Sydney & Shawn have a night rehearsal with EVMCO.  On Friday, May 20th - Another night rehearsal with EVMCO.  Saturday, May 21st - Sydney has a dance recital in the morning, and then that afternoon Shawn and Sydney are headed to The MAC for their performance of The Amazing Grace with Collin Raye.  

Seriously the worst time to have a baby for me. So my lovely doctor has made my world brighter.  On Friday, May 13th...I get to have this baby!  It is so nice to know that I won't have to stress over the following weekend.  I still kinda laugh that I am able to 'plan' it, but I am thankful all at the same time. 

Progress

It is funny how I keep comparing myself to these little birds yet it has really fascinated me.  We are slowly drawing closer to the end...or should I say the beginning.  Just as these little birdies are developing and getting ready to leave the nest, hopefully sooner, rather than later, our little babe will make his entrance into the world. 

I keep thinking one of these days I am going to get that 'burst of energy', and be able to accomplish alot...but instead I am just tired!   It is amazing how much age, and 3 other kiddos play a part in that.  I have a list of things I want to do before he arrives, and hopefully I will get them done.  May is a daunting month...alot of things going on...and now I get to have a baby in the middle of all the chaos! 

Here is a 'progress report' of my growth.  I feel like a whale, and we still have a few weeks left!  Although, from the pics it looks like the baby may have 'dropped' a little in the past week...either that or it is just the angle of the shot.  I will just pretend that he has dropped :o)  because that means he might come sooner. Sydney was 9 days early...and that was heaven!  Till then I will be counting the days!

Spelling it out...

Back in October, Caden came home with a letter.  Every week he gets a new list of spelling words.  Each week we practice them, and usually take a 'mock' test.  This particular week I was not able to be there to do the mock test.  Shawn did it with him, and he wrote the words in this green notebook. 

Somehow this notebook ended up going with him to school...and this was the result.

I was extremely saddened, and somewhat embarrassed, but we had a talk.  We talked about how cheating is dishonest, and not something we should do.  I thought he understood.  That was until today...when he came home with this...

Needless to say I was/am dissapointed.  Not only did he get a zero for thoday...I have no idea how long he has been doing this.  I am so sad that he has felt like it was okay to do this and for so long.  The crazy thing is that he KNOWS these words!  In fact, for the test today we had practiced them, and he recited me the spelling of them.  For whatever reason, when it came to actually taking the real test he panics, and feels like he can't get them right and this was the only answer. 

Then comes the "Mom Guilt"...this year I have had loads of it.  I feel like between getting pregnant, and Caden getting sick in December...I have been living in a blur.  Just trying to survive the day.  I hate feeling that way.  Not having the energy or motivation to really do what I 'think' I should be doing for my kids.  This note has got me baffled...

Where in the world did I go wrong?   I am trying to figure out how to really handle this.  Not only did he get caught today, but it was clear that he had been doing this for months!  Each week I would congratulate him for his spelling test...yet he was CHEATING, and then lying to us.  I just don't get it.  How do I help him understand that it is okay to miss some?  That he doesn't have to get everything right.  He was so afraid to get them wrong he felt this was the only solution!  The part that gets me is that he knows that it was wrong, but in the same breath...doesn't seem to feel really bad about it. 

I know he is only in the 1st grade, and maybe it was somewhat innocent because ultimately he just wants to be good.  That is the problem...he wants so badly to be good that he makes bad choices thinking they are okay.  He is so afraid of making mistakes, and getting things wrong.  What can I do to help him?  Part of me wants to just yell at him because I can't believe that it has been going on for so long...but I know in the end anger will do nothing.  I just want him to understand that I love him...that he doesn't have to be perfect.  I want him to have confidence in himself to know that he really is a smart kid!  He doesn't need a 'cheat sheet'!  

Have you ever had a cheater?? How did you handle it?