The E-mail

This photo was taken 4 days after I met Shawn.
As I have mentioned before, I was not really interested in getting into a relationship. I had made a decision that I was not going to tell someone "I love you" until I was REALLY sure that I meant it. So it made for an interesting beginning when Shawn and I met.

We seemed to get together every single day since that Saturday for some reason or another. I really enjoyed being around him, but I was determined to keep us as 'just friends'. I didn't need the drama of another relationship. Yet as the days went on...denial totally set in.

I had to keep telling myself that I didn't really 'like' him. I just liked being around him. He made me laugh. He was easy to talk to. We always had fun when we together. Besides...we hadn't even been on a 'real' date...we were just 'hanging out.'

After only a few short weeks, I got an email from him that scared me to death. I don't remember exactly what it had said except for the end....it read something like this.

"So when I say goodbye to you, I am going to say "I love you"...because that is how I feel."

Holy Crap! I have only known this guy for about 2 weeks, and he was already professing his love to me!!?? I was taken back. I was still in denial, and didn't even want to think about if I 'thought' I loved him too. I decided to ignore it. I hoped that if I didn't respond, he would just let it go, and I wouldn't have to talk about it. I didn't want the awkwardness to come when I did not return the sentiment.

We met up later that day, and ended up talking about whatever when it happened...he asked me if I had gotten his email. Shoot!!!

I had to have this conversation after all....