Friday, April 13, 2007

My journey for Caden

If you asked me when I was young what I wanted to be when I grew up...I probably would have told you a mother. For as long as I can remember I looked forward to the day when I would be able to have children of my own. I love children, and dote on them whenever I have the opportunity. There is something about a child that brings something alive inside of me. It helps me to have a lighter outlook on life, and just brings me so much joy when I am around them.

Shawn and I had been married about a year and a half (it was fall 2001) when we felt it was time to "start" our family. I was excited of the aspect of having a child, and just couldn't wait! Well, my Heavenly Father had other plans. Month after month of disappointment followed. I didn't understand why I was not pregnant. We had been trying for a whole year, and nothing. I wanted to be pregnant so badly, but was not willing to go to the doctor to find out why we were not pregnant yet. I was so fearful that they would tell me that I would never be able to have children. So instead I tried to do everything to educate myself.

The best book that I have ever read on the subject is Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It helped me to understand how my body works. I was able to arm myself with knowledge in case my worst fear came to. I charted, took temperatures, everything....still nothing happened. I had my beloved yearly coming in February, and came to terms that if I was not pregnant by then...I would talk to my doctor about it. That is when I think I finally gave into my fear, and gave it back to the Lord.

I knew in the end it was in His hands...he knew the timetable. Lo and behold after 15 months of heartache, and tears. I found out I was pregnant! That is when my journey began....

More to follow later!

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An Ordinary Mom said...

Motherhood was always the thing that topped my priority list, but I, too, didn't think my dreams would ever be realized. Luckily with the help of this same book and with the help of medical intervention and fertility drugs and miscarriage prevention therapy, we have been able to successfully have two beautiful kids!

I am interested to hear how the rest of your story unfolds.

kailani said...

I never felt like I "had" to be a mother. However, now I can't imagine anything but.

Overwhelmed! said...

I always knew I wanted to be a mom "someday". Then, when I decided I was finally ready, God decided I had another year or two to wait. Our son was well worth the wait!

I can't wait to hear more about your story.

PJ said...

Anxious to hear more!

Christine said...

Looking forward to hearing the rest of your story.
I love being a Mom, it's brought me so much Joy.

Melissa R. Garrett said...

I have always wanted to be a mom too (and a writer ~ Jo March is my hero!).

For some (like me) getting pregnant is just too darn easy, that you end up taking it for granted. You forget that there are some who struggle and some who never have the opportunity. Thanks for reminding me, again, that children are an absolute gift. I can't wait to read the rest of the story :-)

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